While Venus was in retirement we were weighing up relationship matters with a critical eye. At that time of retreat and reflection we also had a potent Grande Cross formation of Mars/Uranus/Pluto/Jupiter. This exploded issues of power, control, the need for freedom – made grander by Jupiter and violently triggered by Mars. We were caught out – our inclination was to retreat to consider these matters properly, instead, our hearts took a battering. The Grande Cross forced matters to a head – despite the fact that Venus in Capricorn urged sensible planning and Mars in Libra, considered diplomacy. The volatility of the Mars/Uranus/Pluto/Jupiter Cross demanded sudden decisions be made to preserve our emotional well being (Venus) and our self-interest (Mars).
Venus usually convinces us to sweet-talk, charm and wheedle our way out of conflict. But in Capricorn she is more measured. The image is of a skilled and judicious Queen, her beauty springing from her wisdom. The Sensible Queen of Love wanted you to look at how relationships work for you. What is it you actually need to live a pleasant, harmonious and emotionally fulfilling life? Those relationships you work so hard to support, are they reciprocal or are they reducing you? Capricorn is always concerned with issues of resources, planning, stable growth and goals. No, it’s not romantic. But it is necessary to have a certain amount of order and peace in which to dream romantic dreams, when you have time.
When we have poor boundaries, when we don’t understand what we need from others – we are more likely to act out of impulse, hang sh*t on people who don’t deserve it or express our needs clumsily. This in turn creates more conflict, distracting us from the need we failed to speak clearly in the first place. Sound familiar? Look at any dysfunctional relationships in your life … how often do you walk away with the thought – ‘I didn’t even mean that! Why did I say that! Why does this keep going down that path?’
Love is hard work. It is also lovely, juicy and delicious – some of the time.
But most of the time loving relationships require consistent, applied effort to remain on a steady footing. This is the only way to (try and) meet everyone’s needs equally.
Venus in Capricorn forces us to face this truth. Too much romanticism and idealism drifts far too easily from deep, dreamy waters into conflict…or at worst, abuse. ‘But I love him. He’ll change’ . No, he won’t. And you probably won’t either. Not unless you can both bring huge mindfulness to your problems, and even then, that work may just enable you to part in peace. There is something between you that activates these destructive and frustrating patterns – the Composite Chart or Relationship Chart will show you exactly why this is happening. If you look at the charts of those in your life who fill your cup you will see aspects that support joy, harmony, freedom, creativity.
(The Relationship Chart and Communication Chart show the elements at play between 2 or more people. The Relationship Chart explores the relationship as an entity in itself – the dynamics it births by the interaction of the people involved, what the relationship will achieve, what it is ‘for’. The Connection Chart looks at how the 2 people interact as individuals and differences in communication style, love languages, emotional needs and ego drives. )
Venus Retro helped us clear our head, we realise that it may not be worth going on with a relationship, that romance is not enough – in fact it can be a dangerous illusion. But it hasn’t all just been about letting go, pruning back for new growth. We now hopefully have some clearer insight, an action plan of sorts for the relationships we decided to work with into 2014.
Relationships must be a healthy exchange that respect boundaries and bring structure, not chaos, to our lives.
Until March 6, 2014, Venus is working hard putting those plans into action. Bring your awareness to constructing good foundations in your relationships with others, meet your needs so you can meet others’ healthily – no obligations, no invisible price tags.
Be fair and receive fair treatment in return. If the other can’t treat you fairly, continue on up that mountain – if they catch up with you, so be it.
Don’t give more than you can give – and don’t ask others to do sacrifice for your sake either.
Capricorn teaches us that if you can do it on your own – do so. If you think you can’t do it on your own, try a few times. Then ask for another to share their resources with you for the moment – that’s also called help.
You can then get yourself into a secure position to extend that help to others when they need it, and also achieve your goals.
~ Love Asha ~
Need some insight into your relationships? – romantic, friendship, family dynamics, parent/child
Astrology is a wonderful tool for understanding what the relationship is ‘for’, communication styles/issues, differences in emotional needs & ego drive, points of conflict, sources of sweetness.
(If you were born with Venus in Capricorn this article may help you understand more about the way you love and view relationships)