I have half written today’s full moon post…but I find myself labouring, trembling to complete it…to speak from my heart. I always could write 1000 things but I want to write a glimpse of my vision…of what I sense and to bide with you in a sacred remembering of who we all are, beyond the world we have found ourselves in with its war and inane cruelties.
I’ve opened my hands and let go of what I should be doing and am left instead with a simple,fresh vulnerability. I return to a kind of innocence ; a complete awareness that for all my discovery, healing and growth I still bear scars,wounds of my experience and oh under some tides how they do thrum !
I stand in awe at my strength and determination to have made it here. I laugh too at that which I thought I knew and where it led me. Pain and the healing from it is a miracle, a blessing and an initiation. The trembling dissolving feeling is welcome – I understand it so well, it is sacred and must not be ignored.
This full moon in Gemini is quivering through me communicating mysteries from my depths about this time of wounding and what it means for me in real terms from this point. I know many of you walk as I do in a dance with the Devil/Light bearer sometimes called PTSD or other names. I want you to know at times I bide there too; in that mixed state of sorrow as old as stones and a deep and humble joy that never leaves me, now that I have learned how to walk wisely in this place. ( Well…let’s not get ahead of ourselves Ms Maria…we have become wiser …wise is still a work in progress!)
The state of the world like the state of my heart is singing at the same time, a single heart song
“So much has happened, so much pain wrought, yet we go on, we love, we trust, we heal!”
It humbles me, I wish to weep and laugh and dance with grief AND joy. The divine dance of dissolution, a tumbling down of all previous conceptions and plans ; the sense of a profound understanding and change. Also paradoxically in trickster Gemini fashion – nothing seems to have changed outwardly. No great obstacles have fallen or injustices are avenged, but…I am changed . I am through it and yet it remains still.
And I know I am a smaller manifestation of a greater cycle of which I am a part…I know that the World likewise is in a state of tremulous anticipation and possibility. This is a time of many potentials, of conceptions and tender developments. We must dream and move with intention, in our small worlds and in our greater spheres; home, community, work and political action.
I am falling quiet now as I test and get to know this marvellous new body, to tenderly observe and test new abilities and leave old caterpillar behaviours, instincts and goals behind. I am going to seek the shimmering moonlight and let it fall on my still-dewy wings. And I give to you all my love and gratitude for sharing your stories with me and reading my work. Blessed moon travels to you .. Love love love Asha