Dying to our old selves is hard – we want it so bad! Who wants to be stuck in the past? The tarot card XX The Last Judgement illustrates the process of Death of Self in order to be Resurrected into the Higher Self – this is an endless process in our lives, we are constantly refining, renewing, transforming. We are born and die so that we can live again. By necessity material reality means that we are deeply attached to that old self, habits, patterns ways of relating. You can think you are *there* mentally, philosphically but the body has her own memories, the psyche her own battle scars. These unconscious aspects of ourselves generate the conflict in our lives and lead to repetitive patterns. As we grow more conscious the difficulties don’t go away but they are understood for what they are – consequences of actions we have taken (that’s what karma means). That every action creates consequence does not mean you are to BLAME for the consequences of your experiences. It just recognises that this is how life works.
The whole blame/denial/apology/victim mentality/tyrany mentality is part of the same illusion. Try and see it as just some stuff that went down between you and the cosmos – once you have validated the pain of your experience (for victims of abuse this is extremely important – no skipping the acknowledgement that you suffered and it hurts). Something happened, You don’t need to know why because there’s always more reasons than you have breath to ask the question. You don’t need deliverance or retribution to be liberated from the suffering that your personal karma brings you. I don’t hold with “I brought such and such into my life because I had to learn from them” noone wants to be sick, wounded, hurt, poor or otherwise suffering. But when suffering arrives we can acknowledge it, look for where we are hooked into it, and strive to release it. There are astrological tides when this conscious release is easier than others – the next few weeks is one such time. I send love to all of you deep in the work and all who read this, I send up prayers that your hearts will be unbound from the pain of your story and that you will find rebirth in a new shiny self, arising Phoenix-like from the ashes of your past. Love love love Asha
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